Middle-class Families-Unveiled

I am very much sure that you would have heard the following words from your Dad or Mom at least once in your childhood or when you were studying– My dear son not this month, but next month it is confirmed. These are very common words in a middle (or lower middle class) family to postpone any out-of-budget need of the kids. Interesting part is, kids are getting persuaded with these words and start daydreaming but again they hear the same words in next month. The story goes on till the time Dad or Mom does not provide the asked (or requested) thing to the kid or the kid give-up as the requested thing gradually stops alluring him or her. But, it is a terrific feeling when your expectations are not met. Here in this post, I tried to portray the picture of a middle-class family that is entirely based on my thoughts. So, there is a huge possibility that many of you wouldn’t agree with me at various points.


Now these days, accessibility of a middle class family has been increased, as it was 20 yrs ago. This is just because of globalization and rise in living standard. Now parents never stop their kids to cook noodles/macaroni at home, while 22 yrs ago situation was entirely different. I can clearly recall that a noodle packet that you can get in 10 bucks today was of 5 Bucks. In these 20 yrs, the purchase power of a family has been increased at least by 4 times, while prices of such commodities have been increased by 2 or 3 times. Take another example of Soft drink that was costing us 4 bucks in 1992/93 while it is of 10 bucks after 16-17 yrs. So, many of the commodities, such as branded apparel, food, beverages, electronic gadgets, and other items those (unfortunately) signifies the living standard, are in reach of a common salaried families. Though, the living standard of a middle-class family has been improved still you will find that the difference in mindset is not as much significant.


Now, I am turning chapters and going 20 yrs back. Gosh… there were three different categories in clothes-Uniform for school, apparels for home, and apparels for special occasion. As soon the kids were returned from any function, they supposed to change the clothes immediately, and wear clothes mend for home. Occasional clothes were 1 or 2 in numbers, so a kid couldn’t play wearing those occasional clothes, as those could get ragged. And the frequency of stitching a set of occasional clothes was once a year. The number touched the value 2 only if there was big function like marriage strictly within the close relatives. Uniform was supposed to be 2 in numbers for each alternate day, and it got washed daily to meet the requirements. There were two shoes, one PT shoe and another black shoe. Kids supposed to clean the PT shoe every Sunday and pour it with light sky blue color to make it more effective. Black shoe was common for school uniform as well as with the dress reserved for occasions.


Middle-class families believe in show-off. One family will never say to other that they are in a tight situation, especially females. They always show (or pretend) that things are pretty smooth in their family. Even if they ask for a bowl of sugar from other house, they start saying, “He is very busy, not even getting time to go market and get some sugar. Could you please fill this bowl, I will return it tomorrow.” Other lady will start pretending that her house is filled with tones of sugar, and start saying, “Sure…Sure. He is very finicky and cannot see that the ration is not available at any time. He brings the ration before its level goes down half of the container. I always say to him, ration is available don’t bring anything but he never listens to me.” She filled the bowl with sugar but with thoughts what if she doesn’t return tomorrow, as the sugar left in container is not sufficient for two days, and 4 more days to go in his salary disbursement. This mentality transfers to the kids as well. As their father got any item for them, they did start showing off- see my new shoe its very costly, my new shirt-trouser-cycle-cap-and the things that I can’t write here. Since, getting a good eatable (chocolate) was also a matter of status, so they did start eating when their maximum number of friends could see them. Wrappers of maggi, chcolate, branded biscuits were thrown just in front of house, so others can see that the family was having all modern eatables.


Since, these families live in a colony or little bit dense environment, so the chances are very high that 4 or 5 kids are studying in the same class. Now, an unwanted pressure is always on all the kids due to a hidden competition among the kids caused by their parents. One mom would say, “ Look at Monu. He is also the kid and eats the same thing that you do, but he also scores more than you. If this time you get scored less than Monu, then you will see my worst. Go and study.” A tight slap could be an add-on to make the statement stronger. The kid starts crying and rubbing his cheeks -turned red due to a tight slap, goes to study with the slowest possible speed. Now, this undue pressure will not allow the kid to play, watch television, and do whatever s/he wants. But, when two females will be talking, they will always praise their kids, as they got the best kids of the world. Again show off.


Any additional expense, like attending a marriage function works like a negative catalyst, in family budget. And if the marriage is in a nearest relative then it sounds like hell, as an expensive gift becomes must. Expensive gift is a must because ‘She’ doesn’t want get down in any case. Now, the He, started doing maximum possible juggling that he could do to get the family ready for the function and buying a significant gift.

Exchanging gifts in small parties like birthdays was so funny that if a kid receives a photo frame or album, geometry box, tiffin, water bottle etc in his/her birthday, kid’s mom will keep few items as is, because in others’ birthday this is going to be a gift. If someone’s birthday comes, mom will say, “ just check if water bottle is lying on the shelf. Go and get it wrapped with packing paper.” Gift and kids both are ready now.

Kids of such families found themselves in a dilemma when someone else offers an eatable that they never had or not of that type that is being offered. Let me explain with an example. A family, including dad, mom, and kids, lives in a small town, and Dad’s sister is living in Mumbai with her husband and kids. Now, the small town family went to Mumbai to visit Uncle and Aunty. Both the families are roaming in Mumbai; uncle stopped in front of an ice cream parlor, and asked small town kids which ice cream they want to have. Kids are wondering which ice cream they should go for. They only had orange and milk bar (santray wali aur doodh wali), and they do start saying like, what the bhaiya will take or what the others will take. Kids don’t know what they will eventually be served but they do start thinking only after holding the ice cream- I should have gone for some other.

Such families are value driven, and kids are taught to give respect to older and others. Saying only Uncle and Aunty sounds bad, so Uncle Ji and Aunty Ji is the right term to address neighbors parallel to Dad and Mom. It is strictly no-no to address older siblings with their names. Kids are taught not to be demanding, and stubborn. Despite all the situations that I have discussed, these families are where love and respect for other family member exists. You will find the true relationships and bindings with flavor of family values. The important thing is, if you do belong to such family and gradually moved at good position in business, govt, public, and private sectors, never forget what you were. Never stop loving each other and paying respect. Never ever let the values died that you have inherited from your ancestors.


There is a saying by George Bernard:

“I have to live for others and not for myself; that's middle class morality.”